If I could escape and recreate a place that's my own world,

justjesslyn @ 2007-07-22T19:12:00

2007-07-23T02:13:22Z

i changed my blog already.
so dont add me here anymore, friends :)
my new url is : goodbye-tolove.livejournal.com

low-profile

2007-06-04T05:26:38Z

BLOG MOVED
too many people are getting updated about my life/feelings/thoughts.

it will be 80% private entries though

(please ask for my new url if you're interested)

and add me as a friend to read the private entries.
i might or might not add you back as a friend though.
it depends, if i want/allow you to read them.

yummy

2007-05-21T21:03:28Z

justjesslyn @ 2007-05-21T14:28:00

2007-05-21T12:33:52Z

Happy Birthday, Dearest Sister.

And so, my report is done and submitted and a huge load is off my shoulder. But something happened that makes me feel so stressed and upset and hurt. I would rather do hundreds of 20-page research reports, rather than have this happening to me. I don't know what to do right now. It seems like life is crumbling down on me. I have never felt more lost, unloved and alone. It killed me, hearing those words that crushed my heart into a million pieces. Feeling my heart breaking, my throat tightening, my tears flowing once again. I'd rather die than go through the pain I felt last night. And a scene of me dying in a car accident actually went through my mind last night. It scared the hell out of me, but I have no one to turn to. I guess it doesn't matter anyway. Who will care if I die and disappear from this world? And thoughts of death actually went through my mind last night. And tears just can't stop flowing. What the heck is wrong with me? Well actually I think everything is wrong with me. I guess it's all in me. It's all my fault. It lies in my personality, my action, my everything. I'm sorry I'm such a bitch. I'm sorry I can never cheer you up even though I want to. I'm sorry for keeping quiet all the time. I'm sorry that I always make you worry. I'm sorry I'm like this. I never meant to hurt you in any way. And I'm sorry Mel, for making you worry yesterday. I hate myself so bad.

saving forever for you

2007-05-19T11:04:48Z

Edit @ 5PM: I'M DONE WITH MY REPORT! :D
*screams and jumps around!!*
-
I'M SUPPOSED TO BE DOING MY REPORT NOW.

YAY i only have four more pages to go for my report!! But I still have my Econs exam to study for, sigh. The life of a student who is desperate to get As. I've been cooping myself at home for the past two days, and I slept at 5:00am and 7:00am on Friday and Saturday respectively. Plus I spend 90% of my time in front of my laptop when I'm awake. ( But I do spend some time surfing the web and doing these photo collages teehee ) I'm so tired, and I'm aching everywhere. I will definitely kill myself if I don't get an A on this report. I even gave up watching my most anticipated movie of the year SHREK THE THIRD, just to get my report done. Sigh I want to watch Shrek so bad! Everyone watched it already! Not fair! And Stef and co are going to The Grove for lunch right now! AAH I have no life. I need a life. Gimme a life.

Anyway, it's May 21 in Singapore right now. And it's 6:00am over there right now. Which means that it has been one year and two hours since ______. I love you dearest Baby. Even though this past year has been a crazy ride for the both of us ( especially since both of us have short tempers ), it has been a wonderful ans sweet journey, and we made it through all the ups and downs together. Never giving up on each other even though there are so many obstacles coming between us. Sacrificing for each other. And loving each other no matter what comes in the way. Loving each other unconditionally. I know that we will make it through this together, and I want us to make it. Thank you for everything sweetheart. I love you more than words can say. You're the greatest thing that have ever happened to me, and you're definitely the person you treats me the best.

Since I'm doing this "happy-birthday-or-happy-anniversary-wishing" thingy, I might as well give shout-outs right now in this post.
1. My Parents! Happy 20th wedding anniversary! Stay happy and loving. You two are the best parents in the whole wide world.
2. My Sister Stephanie! Happy 19th birthday bitch! Haha you're the greatest. And even though you always bully me or scold me or whatever, I know that you love me! Haha thank you for all the care and concern you showed me. And for all the advices. And for protecting me and whatsoever. And even though you're a pain in the ass sometimes, I still love you! So please do the laundry tomorrow okay? :D
3. Nicole-Rachel! Happy 17th birthday dearie! You're one of the special people who made my life in Chung Cheng so memorable and enjoyable, and I love you to bits. Thank you for all the sweet little treats, for all your love, for always being there for me, for listening to my problems, for brightening my days with your lovely smile, and for always cheering me up when I'm down.

By the way, I've been wanting to say this for a very, very long time:

CONGRATULATIONS!
to the MJC soccer team,
for getting into the finals!

You guys are simply the best, and the whole school is damn proud of you all! We have faith that we will be the champions again this year! Good luck guys, especially to Guo Guang and Wei Wen. GG, you've been scoring huh! Haha, must be because of Ziqi's love and support. And WW, you are the best goalkeeper I've ever seen, and I heard that you have made really nice saves in this season too. Keep up the great work! But please take care of yourself. I remember how you keep getting yourself injured last year. Good luck, and take care MJC soccer team! I want to watch the final match so badly, but I am supporting you guys mentally and spiritually haha. MJ BOLEH!

Would the match between MJ & SAJ be better than all the previous matches between MJ & VJ in the finals?
It seems weird, that MJ isn't playing against VJ in the finals this time round.

way back into love

2007-05-18T06:07:24Z

Chui Laam & Samantha & Sheau Wei & Xue Jun! Send me all the photos we took together please?
And Michelle & Samantha & Shu-Tzu & Siyu! Send me all the pictures of us too please! :D

SIGH I want to watch Shrek Three SOOOOO bad! It's released today, and all the mean friends of mine went to watch without me!! So mean lah haha. And stupid smelly Stef keeps telling me how nice and funny it is. I'm so gonna kill you you idiot. Anyway, I watched Music And Lyrics!! (Yes, I'm super slow and outdated I know). It's so nice and so funny and so sweet and now I'm more in love with the song "Way Back Into Love" more than ever. Oh and guess what? I changed my class schedule for Summer/Fall again. Not surprising. I'm not the only one who is indecisive I realized hahaha. And so, I won't be taking yoga anymore sigh. I was so looking forward to it.

Math test today was not as bad as I expected it to be. I think I can get an A on this test, I hope. And now, I have 48 hours to start learning some magic to make a 20-page report appear in front of me (Why can't I just try to enjoy writing my report the way I do when I blog?) and to create a clone of me to study for my Econs test. And I should be dreading for Monday to come. Except that Monday is a really special day hehe. It's my parents' wedding anniversary, my sister's birthday, Nicole's birthday, and most importantly: It's our special day YAY!! I love May 21, it's the best day ever hehe. And another good news: I checked my diary today and I realized that there's only TWO more weeks of classes left for this semester! Which means that I will be taking my final exams in TWO weeks time!! I should be thinking about final exams, and not how much closer I am to August :D

I was reading SamanthaK's blog archives. From back when it was year 2005. And it just brings back all the memories we shared together. We had stupid quarrels (because of my retardedness) and we went through all ups and downs together. And she probably spent more time at my place than at hers haha. Sammy, I still love you as much even though we're so far apart, and that we're not as close anymore (you lah, the popular girl with fans and friends and secret admirers everywhere haha). And I really want to be there for you. HUGS take care alright? I love you!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY SENG GUAN! :)

my only certainty in this uncertain world

2007-05-17T09:56:50Z

Amongst all the novels by all the different authors I have read before (yes, all the books I read are lovey-dovey-romance books which is a far cry from reality), I have to admit that Marian Keyes is the funniest author ever. I'm currently reading one of her books, Watermelon, and it's superb and I totally love it! It made me laugh a million times and the storyline is realistic. This book is about a woman, whose husband left her on the day she gives birth to their first baby after admitting that he has been having an affair for the past six months. (sigh, why are guys such bastards?)

Besides spending my time reading, I have been doing gazillions of Math problems and I have been reading my Econs textbook and I just started on my Business report (No, actually I have only started creating all the charts and graphs). Sigh, I'm so screwed. So much to do, yet so little time. And I don't even know why I'm blogging when I have so much to do. Alrighty, I shall get back to doing my work. Please pray that I will survive through this week, and that I won't die of exhaustion after this weekend. Oh yes! I have enrolled for my Summer/Fall classes, and I will be taking Yoga classes in summer yo! Hehe. I was considering Ballroom Dancing too, but the timing is really bad, sigh.

Something silly I created for you:
I really miss those times we shared together. I miss spending time with you.

Happy Eighth, sweetheart. You are my hunny-bunny-sexy-baby-lovey-dovey-cutey-dearie. The one who never fail to make me feel extra special. I love you my dearest Sexy Papa, and I always will. Thank you for being so patient and sweet to me. Thank you for always sacrificing your sleep every night just to give me morning calls. And I'm sorry for being such a lousy girlfriend, and for not waking up most mornings even after you have given me at least 50 missed calls. And I'm especially sorry for the night you called me 100 times, and yet I still couldn't get up for my class. Sigh, I love you.

CHUN CHEN'S UBER-CUTE-AND-CHUBBY NEPHEW!! :D

From the first time we went out together, it was wonderful. So romantic, so beautiful.

And I'm sorry to do this to you but I'm going to have to use a lot of cliches here. I can see no other way around it.

I'm ashamed to tell you that I was walking on air. And I'm even sorrier to have to tell you that I felt like I'd known him all my life. And I'm going to compound things by telling you that I felt that no one understood me the way that he did. And as I've lost all credibility with you I might as well tell you that I didn't think it was possible to be that happy. But I won't push it by telling you that he made me feel safe, sexy, smart and sweet. (And sorry about this, but I really must tell you that I felt that I had met my missing other half and now I was whole, and I promise that I'll leave it at that.) (Except perhaps to mention that he was funny and great in bed. Now I mean it, that's all, positively all.

~~But I felt the same way with my Baby. I feel complete whenever I'm with him.~~

my interpretation

2007-05-15T00:41:44Z

I'm getting addicted to coffee!! ARGH i've been having at least a cup of coffee everyday, and I had two today! Oh no oh no, please forbid me from drinking coffee from now on friends. SIGH having a super duper terrible headache now, and it sucks so bad. There's something terribly wrong with my body. This morning I had swollen lips and I didn't go to school because of that. I don't even know what caused it. Was it something I ate or what? It freaked the hell out of me haha. Hope it'll never ever happen again.

I was bored out of my wits and so, I decided to make the oh-so-cliche true friend quiz. Its just a stupid thing for you guys to kill your time with, and of course for me to know who knows me best hahaha. I basically spent my day with my beloved Calculus book, and I'm going to be spending more time with it this week. SIGH math is really killing me. I think it's the cause of my headache AHHHH! The end of this semester marks the end of Math for me, cause this is the last Math course I have to take for Business YAY. And I finally can enroll for my Summer and Fall classes later at 8pm tonight, double yay! I just hope that the classes I want aren't fully taken up yet.

Create your own Friend Test here

Take the stupid test okay everyone! Hehe I just want to say something random: I haven't eaten Pinkberry in a week!! And I think that it is a very big achievement for me. Maybe I'm not so addicted to it anymore. Hehe I should learn to cut down on my caffeine intake too. Not only is it unhealthy, it is fattening!! Or rather, high in sugar. SIGH okay okay, I need a diet plan. (MEANKI, HELP ME!)

World's mayors hold climate change summit

NEW YORK (AFP) - Mayors and business leaders from more than 40 of the world's biggest cities were gathering in New York Monday for a summit devoted to combating climate change and cleaning up the environment.

Leaders from Seoul to Sydney and Mumbai to Mexico City are expected at the C40 Large Cities Climate Summit, billed as helping to reduce cities' greenhouse gas emissions and develop more energy-efficient infrastructure.

The summit, which opens with a reception late Monday and runs through Thursday, is expected to include several joint initiatives that harness the cities' combined purchasing power.

The event is being organized in conjunction with the Clinton Climate Initiative, part of the foundation set up by former US president, Bill Clinton, who is due to address the summit on Wednesday.

The first large cities summit was held in London in 2005 and brought together environmental officials from around 20 cities to exchange ideas and set up a network of like-minded cities.

This year's meeting for the first time brings in business leaders.

The summit will stress the financial benefits of addressing climate change, said Kathryn Wylde, president of the Partnership for New York City, a non-governmental business leadership group organizing the meeting.

"The feeling was it was important for this summit to focus on the potential economic benefits of cities taking action to reduce carbon emissions and address climate change," she said.

Former World Bank chief economist Nicholas Stern last year warned that the fallout of climate change could be on the scale of the two world wars and the Great Depression of the 1930s unless urgent action was taken.

Wylde said that by bringing together city authorities, companies with technological solutions and banks to finance new initiatives, the summit offered far more than just being a talking shop.

"You've had lots of people that are abstractly talking about global warming and advocating policy change, but these are people who actually write checks," she said.

"It's no longer a matter just of rhetoric. Mayors are 'roll up your sleeves' guys that really have to run a city and do things," she added.

Other topics up for discussion include beating traffic congestion, making water systems more efficient, adopting renewable energy sources, increasing recycling levels, reducing waste and improving mass transit.

Cities are responsible for around three-quarters of the world's energy consumption and are considered critical to reducing carbon emissions. By acting together, cities could make a real change to global warming, Wylde said.

"If one city by itself implements a policy to reduce its carbon emissions, I don't think it's going to convince anyone that that's going to change the world," she said.

"But if the larger cities across five continents commit to do something, that could change the world, it could have a real impact on the case of climate change," she said, particularly welcoming the role of developing countries.

"If New York does something great and Mumbai and Beijing and Shanghai decide to ignore the issue, New York's efforts to slow climate change are not going to be impactful," she said.

"It's a little for harder for cities in emerging economies to take this position, but the fact that they're coming and committing to working together, I think is a big deal," she added.

Among the cities attending the summit are Bangkok, Beijing, Cairo, Delhi, Dhaka, Istanbul, Jakarta, Johannesburg, Karachi, London, Lagos, Melbourne, Paris, Rio de Janeiro, Shanghai, Singapore and Tokyo.

世上只有妈妈好

2007-05-13T08:56:20Z

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY! :D

I love you Mummy. Hope you love the cake Steph and I ordered for you, and the flowers S'Chye and I gave you. You are the greatest and the coolest and the most beautiful mum ever, and I am so proud to be your daughter. Like what people say, you don't even look like you have four kids. And that we look like four sisters instead of mother and daughters. We even share clothes and bags and all! Hehe you're the best mummy. Thank you for everything you have done for all of us. We love you and we hope you have a happy mother's day! :)

And thank you Baby for being such a thoughtful sweetheart. I love you more than words can say :)
~~"Thank you to you and Chye. I have a son-in-law already huh." heheheheh:D~~

"Things may not always go smooth between us, but that's what relationships are all about. As long as we're willing to stick by each other and go through it together." Thank you for showing me what love is all about Baby. You're truly the besterestest boyfriend ever. I love you.

justjesslyn @ 2007-05-12T16:44:00

2007-05-12T07:46:12Z

I MISS MY DARLINGS SSSSSS/TLC!

Sigh sigh sigh, I miss spending time with you all! I miss you girls so much. Stop having so much fun over there in Singapore!! HAHA come and visit me in the States hehe. K anyway I've been doing my Math homework cause I want to get an A for my next test which will be this coming Friday because I got a B again on my last test. Why do I keep getting a B huh SIGH tell me how to get an A! I have to get that A cause this class is five units and if I don't get the A my GPA will be screwed up. Argh study study, I still have Econs test and that bloody 20-page report to do and final exam is coming!! Stop stressing yourself out Jesslyn hahaha okok be a nerd and STUDY!

Conversation with Stef, the one who treats bullying me and teasing me as her hobby.
HAHA STEF EVEN THOUGH YOU ARE MEAN, I STILL LOVE YOU. MUAHHHH!

Mini Cooper: I SWEARRR u r the mushiest corniest girl ive ever met... wannna puke a give me goosebumps
Sexy Papa: what lahh i where got mushy heeheeeeeeeee
Mini Cooper: MUSHY LIKE HELL
Mini Cooper: sayinggg the corniest thing??? noo im not as corny as u r.. u r like mother of all CORN

Was feeling super pissed off because of some irritating people who love to make up stupid stories. even though they suck so bad at it. irritating little asses who deserves to just go and stuff themselves with _____ so they would keep their big stinky mouth shut. I really hate people who lie, people who make up stories. AHH forget it, they dont deserve my time and energy so i shall just forget about it. forgive forgive!! dearest Stef managed to cheer me up just by a short little chat on MSN heheh her retardedness always make me laugh like an idiot. I love you Stef!!

& I LOVE YOU SEXYPAPA!
Love was made for me & you.

tears and rain

2007-05-11T05:59:56Z

Sometimes the things you say hurts me deep, but I know hurting me wasn't your intention.
Sometimes the way you talk hurts me so bad, although I know that you do care.
Sometimes the things you do kills me, even though I know you don't mean to.

Because you don't know it hurts me, I keep it all to myself.
All the thoughts that are forever haunting me, I'd rather not tell you too.

I know you love me, and I thank you for all the sweet lil' things you always do for me. I appreciate them so much, and I'm so thankful to have you by my side. I know it's not easy loving me because besides loving me, you have to tolerate my silly temper and my never-ending flowing tears and the great physical distance at the same time. Thank you for willingly trying to get through this hard period together, and thank you for your unconditional love. You love me, without expecting anything in return. You let me vent my anger on you, just so that I can feel better. I know I have been taking you for granted and I am sorry. I will change, I promise you I will. Thank you for being so patient towards me, and thank you for always bringing a smile to my face. Thank you for always giving me constant encouragements and for having so much faith in me. Thank you for never giving up on me. I love you so much, in a way that I never thought I could. You said that I made you do things that you never thought you will do for anyone. But you did all of them for me. And I just want you to know that it's the same for me. I've done so many things for you that I didn't know I had the ability to. I love you more than you can imagine. And I always will. You're the one I want to spend the rest of my life with, to share all my ups and downs. And like what you told me, even one lifetime is not enough. I can never get enough of you. You're my one and only, and I love you.

And thank you for scolding / letting me know my bad points so that I can change :)
You're the best boyfriend anyone could ever ask for, and I thank God that you are mine, now & forever <3

the opposite of love is not hate; it's indifference

2007-05-10T08:26:56Z

I MISS MY FAMILY <3
( This photo's taken many many years ago hehe )

Shopping-spree alert: MY MUM'S COMING OVER IN TWO WEEKS' TIME! :D
And Pinkberry called me regarding the job that I wanted! Was overjoyed, but SIGH i'm not going to work ( Don't ask me why ).
Had a really nice chat on MSN with Min Qi and Si Qin yesterday. Much loves darling BFFs, hahaha.

By the way, I will be taking Physics, Art History and Pilates/Yoga/Boxing this summer. And I realised that it is so different than what I planned on earlier HAHA. Sorry for not taking Math 8 with you Stef. I know you'll understand cause you're such a nice person hehe. I don't know why but I'm forever changing my plans. I'm so indecisive that I can't stand myself. I promised Baby that I will learn to start making decisions and stop saying 'I dont know', which always irritates the hell out of him and many others.

My enrollment date is like on the 15th of May! SIGH it sucks so bad! So many people have enrolled into their classes ( Because enrollment starts on 7th of May ) and I'm scared that the classes I want will be full :( Sigh, it's so unfair! Please please please let there be space for all the classes that I'm planning to take in Summer/Fall. Please don't screw up my timetable! I spent so much time planning the classes for the rest of my semesters in SMC. And I'm even going to see a counsellor to go through my plan at NINE in the morning tomorrow! I'm sacrificing my sleep okay!! So please give me the space in the classes that I want heeheee :D And I will love SMC for life! ( Righhhhhto )

MELINDA LIM TIAN HUI ( SMELLY MELLY ) IS A BIG MEANIE!
Hahaha she cheated my feelings twice yesterday. Sigh, I feel so dumb for believing her. I should have known that this girl is full of bull shit and lame jokes. Haha never mind, no matter how mean she is to me, I still love her! So awww right? Heehee.

People in a good and secure relationship will not cheat on each other.

justjesslyn @ 2007-05-09T17:22:00

2007-05-10T00:26:13Z

I swear I'm never gonna bake again.
~~Spent so much time money and effort, only to hear comments which broke my heart.~~

justjesslyn @ 2007-05-09T03:31:00

2007-05-09T10:12:43Z

Chatting with best friend Melinda online, and that ultra-lame girl is telling me some really lame jokes. Haha and there's one that I think is super funny (but mean at the same time) hehe. But good jokes are meant to be shared right? Hope it makes you laugh, here it goes:

Boy: "Is God a boy or a girl?"
Dad: "God is both a boy and a girl."
Boy: "Is God a black or a white?"
Dad: "God is both a black and a white."
Boy: "Is Michael Jackson God?"

Hahaha I think it's funny! If anybody found it offensive in any way, then I'm sorry hehe. Anyway it's really time for me to go to bed. Otherwise I won't be able to get up in time for class again tomorrow. I dread going to school, but I don't have a choice. Haha the only thing I look forward to in school is being around my friends. SIGH can I go back to Singapore right now? Can I don't take summer classes? SIGH I miss my family and my friends, and my darling babyboy especially. Yes yes, just three more months.

AND YAY I GOT AN A FOR MY PHILO TEST! :D I didn't really expect myself to get an A so I'm really pleased about it. Hehe it's just Math that's worrying me right now. SIGH, plus more tests are coming up. And final exam is coming too. I need to relax and stop giving myself so much stress. My throat is feeling quite uncomfortable. It hurts every single time I swallow. Plus, the weather is getting hotter and hotter! I almost melted today, and it's not even summer yet. OH NO! How am I going to survive when summer comes?!

Had nothing to do today, and so I decided to bake cookies. I really enjoy baking, even though I'm not very good at it. And I'm getting worse at it cause I haven't been baking for quite some time. Well it doesn't matter, as long as I feel happy doing it. Hehe I love to bake :) I might be making blueberry muffins tomorrow cause Diandra asked for it just now. And I feel like making strawberry cake, I don't know why. Haha so random, but yeah, I think I will make that one of these days. If I have time. I need to study hehe.

A wildfire broke out in LA today as the temperature reached 37 degree celcius.

LOS ANGELES - Firefighters said they were making major progress against a wildfire that roared across brush-covered hills in the city's sprawling Griffith Park on Tuesday, triggering evacuations of homes and some of the city's most famous landmarks. A wall of flames raced across ridges and jumped fire lines late in the evening as the fire drew closer to homes and the Griffith Observatory, one of the locations for the 1955 film "Rebel Without a Cause."

Hundreds of firefighters and five water-dropping helicopters rushed to the landmark park — a mix of wilderness, cultural venues, horse and hiking trails and recreational facilities set on more than 4,000 acres on the hills between Hollywood and the San Fernando Valley. Interim Fire Chief Douglas L. Barry said late Tuesday that fire had "laid down" and that authorities hoped an aggressive attack in the morning would bring it under control sometime Wednesday.

Late Tuesday, authorities called for a mandatory evacuation of homes that sit along the park's southern edge as the fire burned out of control. Helicopters flew dangerous water-dropping missions after dark and no homes were lost by late evening. Police officers drove through the parkside Los Feliz district ordering people out. "You need to evacuate, you need to evacuate your houses immediately," one said. "The fire is coming toward the neighborhood." Residents helped direct traffic through tight neighborhood streets.

"I was just able to get a few things," said Ed Stephan, 83, who helped his wife into their car as ashes fell from the sky. "We're not too worried but want to get out of here and observe the law." More than 200 residents were expected at an evacuation center, said fire Capt. Antoine McNight. The fire destroyed Dante's View, a trailside terraced garden on Mount Hollywood, said City Councilman Tom LaBonge. "This is a very sad night for Los Angeles," he said.

Rangers evacuated the park's Vermont Canyon area, which includes the Los Angeles Zoo, two golf facilities, a merry-go-round and school, said Jane Kolb, a city Department of Recreation and Parks spokeswoman. Fire Capt. Rex Vilaubi said the evacuations were voluntary and the areas were not in imminent danger of being overrun.

Nearly 1,300 utility customers lost power in Los Feliz when flames downed power lines, said Department of Water and Power spokesman Joe Ramallo. Authorities were investigating whether the fire broke out after a person discarded a cigarette at one of the park's golf courses, a law enforcement official familiar with the matter told The Associated Press on condition of anonymity because the investigation was ongoing.

The person tried to put out the fire but was badly burned and was taken to Hollywood Presbyterian Medical Center, the official said.

The blaze erupted on the second day of a heat spell. The National Weather Service said downtown hit 97 degrees, 23 degrees above normal, tying the record for the date. In 1933 the area was the site of one of nation's worst wildland firefighting tragedies, a blaze that killed 25 firefighters.

on top of the world

2007-05-08T01:41:52Z

MY DARLING BABY & MELINDA BESTIE ARE GOING BACK TO INDONESIA WITH ME! :D

OMG OMG OMG can you feel my excitement?!?! HAHAHA i cant wait i cant wait i cant wait! I'm really so super duper excited! Hehe ONE WHOLE WEEK with the two people i love most in my home country :) Isn't that just so wonderful? I'm so excited and I'm so happy and I love my parents so damn much! Haha thank you mummy and daddy!! I can't imagine anything better than this hehe. And I finally will have friends to hang out with in Indonesia when I go back this time round hehe. I love my family my friends my fiance :)

And I'm so pleased with my Econ midterm results. I expected myself to get a C or something, because I didn't know how to do some of the questions. But I got a B and my average now is still an A, so OH YAY! Praise the Lord! :D I'm going to study harder from now on and ensure I get that A hehe. I'm going to make my parents proud and do myself proud and make my darling baby fiance proud. I thought today is going to be a bad day, but it turns out to be the opposite. It has been great so far, except for the nightmare I had last night. I'm such a happy and blessed girl! :)

Okay I am NOT going to skip anymore classes so I am going to sleep early tonight, which actually means right now haha! Final exam is only three weeks away yo! YAY spring's ending and summer's coming, which also means that summer's ending and I can finally go back to Singapore!! Haha time passes so quickly! Great, I don't mind if time passes even faster. DOUBLE YAY Singapore and Indo, here I come! :D

You opened the door and let the sunshine in.
My life will never be the same again.

justjesslyn @ 2007-05-06T21:26:00

2007-05-06T23:27:47Z

I received a nice big package from Baby today! The heavy thing costed him more than 60 bucks for the posting alone. Aaw, it contained the mints that I love and so many other random cute things. Hehe thank you so very much darling:) I love it more than you know! It really made me smile can? Hehe and I was really surprised. HUGS I hope you felt the same way that I did when you received my present for you. I spent so much time making everything for you. Hehe I love you most sweetheart. You're the best thing that has ever happened to me:)

Maria is cooking right now! YUMMY YUMMY! I've been eating so much when I'm supposed to be on a diet. AAH I'm not gonna lose the bet I made with Seng Chin hahaha. I have three months to lose about 5 kilos. Sounds easy, but sadly it's not. Especially with my itchy mouth and my constantly growling stomach. SIGH can I just not care about what I eat and not care about how fat I am? I hate my flabby arms, and my tummy decorated with layered fats, and my enormous thighs with a diameter of 30cm. AAH Jesslyn, you fatty.

I really don't want to go to school tomorrow. I dread going to school, really really do. Just 5 more weeks before this semester ends! I remember how I used to enjoy going to school last time, even though I missed so many days of school in Sec 4. Those secondary school times. SIGH why does all this waves of nostalgia keep hitting me? On a random note, I really love to stay at home and simply just do nothing. Just spend my time reading my novel and drinking tea. Just blogging and chatting with my friends. Just waiting for Baby's calls and smses. Yeah, everyone says I have no life. But I do okay. This is my life. The life I chose and enjoy. Haha okay anyway here is the picture of us and the Simpsons:

So many times it seemed like there were chances to stop things before they started. Or even stop them in midstream. But it was worse when you knew at that very moment that there was still time to save yourself, and yet you couldn't even budge. - "This Lullaby" by Sarah Dessen.

Oh love. The only thing that could make one's brain stop functioning properly.

justjesslyn @ 2007-05-05T16:56:00

2007-05-04T06:59:30Z

The first thing everyone say when they see me (this past two weeks) is: "You look so tired" or "You look so stressed".

This whole week have been super stressful for me, and I'm really exhausted. It's one of the worst week of my life. I've never felt so tired and so stressed out and so depressed. Had three midterms - Econ, Philo, Math. And I screwed all of them up. I'm such a failure. My head has been hurting so bad for the past few days. I don't know what's wrong, but it really sucks so bad. Things are going so wrong in my life right now. Everything is contributing to my moodiness, and I feel so depressed about everything around me. I feel so tired that sometimes I just want to give up on everything. I just want to run away from reality. I just want all this to end.

Stef was pissed at me for being so depressed about my Math exam today, and she said that she feel like punching my face cause I was looking super depressed. She said there's nothing I can do about it since it's already over, but I felt so shitty and worried cause it will affect my GPA if I get a B and I need to maintain it at 3.8 and above. So we went to Century City for a shopping theraphy and I spent $160. Well, I'm not the worst. Stef spent $200 and someone else spent $450, right right? HAHA you guys suck so bad. It's been ages since I last shopped! Feel so contented! But I want that $220 dress so badly!! AHH it's so gorgeous but so expensive!! And that white blazer from Banana Republic!

After that I watched Spider-Man 3 with sister and friends. About 13 of us. And we had to queue one hour before the movie started (because it's free seating over here) haha. It's pretty good, but I actually expected something better. James Franco (aka Harry Osborn) is so so so good looking! Haha he has the cutest smile ever! The smile lines on his face, the way his eyes twinkle. Hahaha BUT my babyboy's smile is always the nicest. It always makes my heart melt. His smile is even cuter and more beautiful than James Franco's. Baby, I love your smile:)

I want to watch Rush Hour 3! Haha it looks really good and funny. Pirates of the Carribean 3 looks good, but I didn't even watch the 1st and 2nd. Haha and there's a sentence in the trailer where Chow Yun Fat says: "Welcome to Singapore." and I don't know why all the Indos will start laughing whenever that part shows on the screen. Haha anyway, I want to watch Shrek 3 so bad! I remember that I watched Shrek 2 with my best friends - Melinda, Min Ru, Samantha - and we walked along the empty roads of Orchard after our movie. SIGH I miss them so much. I miss Singapore so much. I miss all my friends so damn much. I miss my family. I miss my babyboy. I want to go back to Singapore! 3 more months 3 more months. It'll pass by before I even know it, right? Haiz.

'The Simpsons' movie promotion thingy at Century City cinema:
(Sorry for the poor quality, my phone's camera kinda suck)

We took a picture with it but it's in Maria's phone so yeah. I've been too lazy to bring my camera around these few days. Okay anyway, I was supposed to go to Six Flags Magic Mountain theme park today. But I was too tired cause we reached home at 4 plus in the morning yesterday and I slept at around 6. Anyway, if I didn't go, there'll be 20 people and an even number is better because everyone would have a partner to play a ride. And I won't even dare to play, cause I'm super scared of heights, and look at the rides in Six Flags!:

K lah I wanna talk with my babyboy already, byebye:)
~~I'd rather walk away, if your heart is not in it for real.~~

justjesslyn @ 2007-05-01T00:29:00

2007-04-30T04:30:08Z

THREE YEARS AGO OF TODAY :)
I love you more than a million plates of pasta. Haha my dearest baby fiance, you know what I mean.

I wanna make you smile whenever you're sad
Carry you around when your arthritis is bad
All I wanna do is grow old with you

I'll get your medicine when your tummy aches
Build you a fire if the furnace breaks
Oh it could be so nice, growing old with you

I'll miss you, kiss you
Give you my coat when you are cold
Need you, feed you
Even let you hold the remote control

So let me do the dishes in our kitchen sink
Put you to bed if you've had too much to drink
I could be the man who grows old with you
I wanna grow old with you

justjesslyn @ 2007-04-30T01:29:00

2007-04-29T05:30:00Z

HAPPY BIRTHDAY EUNICE!

Hello girl, I hope you had a great time on your birthday with your family and your boyfriend and your best friend! Don't think about exams today! Push it to the back of your mind, or even better, just throw it away haha. Give yourself a nice break and enjoy yourself today! Just have fun, and take care yup! Hope to see you soon when I'm back in Singapore, Ms Busy! Happy birthday again! Many loves.

I've been staying home since forever - going online, webcaming with baby, unproductive studying. I have three exams next week (yes I know I've said that like a million times). Been feeling so stressed up and super emo lately.. So many things are happening these few days. But thank you baby for being there for me, and for tolerating my stupid temper again and again. I know it's tough on you, and I'm so sorry. I'll change my temper darling, but I need time. I love you baby, and I want to spend the rest of my life with you HUGS.

Talked to Wei Wen online just now. We talked about quite a lot of things, our problems and all. And as usual he made me laugh. Haha he said he's going to stop my bleeding. And he created another rhyme for me! Haha it's been so long since we played the rhyme game. The best goalkeeper in MJC (aka Wei Wen), good luck for all the upcoming soccer matches! Haha GO MJ GO MJ! We'll get the champion position this year! I miss my class 06S403 so much. I miss spending time with them, and I even miss attending lessons with them. I especially miss the soccer season (which is taking place right now) and all the recess/lunch period we always spend together. I miss you all and Mr Hon.

Wei Wen's exam papers (From Hui Tong's blog):

Wei Wen miss Jesslyn
Jesslyn is a nice gal who loves to be clean
Perhaps it's in her gene
Though she can be quite mean
But she still loves Mr Bean
Overall Jess is a wonderful teen

(Haha the Mr Bean part is so super random)

justjesslyn @ 2007-04-29T00:49:00

2007-04-28T12:50:08Z

GO AND CREATE YOUR OWN M&M'S!
( http://BecomeAnMM.com )

Make one for each color! It's so super duper adorable!
I'm going to create more later. At least it takes things off my mind.

And my favourite M&M character(s) I created:
My Baby And I!

The only difference is the skin colour. HAHA don't kill me baby! You're dark and I'm fair what. Hehe I love you.

Hahaha okay here's why it looks like my Baby:
1) It looks like a golden egg.
2) Baby always wears his black cap.
3) He always always always wear sneakers.
4) He wears sunglasses sometimes.
5) Baby always smiles like that! SO ALIKE!
6) Baby loves to eat ice-cream!

And as for the girl beside him (which is me):
1) The color is to accomodate Baby's.
2) I always take Baby's cap and wear it.
3) I'm always wearing slippers or sandals.
4) I wear glasses at home or at night.
5) I love to kiss Baby! HAHAHA.
6) I love to eat ice-cream!

Anyway, HAPPY BIRTHDAY FELYN!
Love that girl, she's so adorable :)

These wounds won't seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase

at the rate we're going

2007-04-28T10:32:52Z

Life doesn't seem so certain anymore.
Love doesn't seem so unbreakable anymore.
Words don't seem so real and meaningful anymore.
Promises don't seem so special and powerful anymore.

~~I wish I would disappear from the face of this Earth~~

i miss you so

2007-04-26T15:50:44Z

Go to Google maps, click on "Get Directions", type from New York to Paris, and line #24 reads:
Swim across the Atlantic Ocean (3,462 miles)

(Credits: Google Map)

I read that in darling Ziqi's blog, haha super funny and retarded! Whoever would think of driving to Paris from New York? And I think that Google is trying to be funny too hahaha. Swim across the Atlantic Ocean for 29 days?! Hehe I really want to see who can complete the whole journey. Okay let's say there's no sharks or whatever, but who can survive through the storms and the freezing water and whatever? Haha k, why am I playing along with this? Anyway speaking of Paris, I really want to go there one day! CHANEL HERE I COME! And I want to go to Italy too, GUCCI HERE I COME!

Okay anyway, my daddy has a Facebook account! I have such hip parents who uses Facebook and MSN Messenger. Hahaha in case you guys don't know what Facebook is, it's exactly like Friendster, just that it's used mostly by students in America. Well actually most people prefer Facebook after using it, so maybe everyone should get an account too hahah. On a random note: I have two huge ugly red pimples on my forehead right now! AHH haven't had pimple outbreak for quite some time, so idiotic! I feel like a teenager once again hahaha!

And, I'm going back to church. I'm sorry, Lord, for not being devoted and for backsliding. For backsliding - not once, not twice, but three times - over the past few years. I want to know you again, and I want to have that relationship I once had with you. I want to feel my heart breaking when I praise and worship you. I want to give you my heart, my life, my everything. It's you I long to know, Lord. Thank you for the cross, Lord. Thank you for the price You paid. Thank you for this love, Lord. Thank you for the nail-pierced hands.

YAY it's the weekend, and I can finally talk/webcam with Baby again! But I have so much to do this weekend - An oral presentation and three exams to study for. I really really need to get an A for all three, cause I can't afford to get a B for any courses anymore. I don't want my GPA to drop anymore, and it certainly must not fall below 3.8! And I'm going to church this Sunday, so yeah basically I don't have time for anything else. K and I just had a very sinful lunch/dinner at California Pizza Kitchen! Haha I'm supposed to be on diet, yet I'm eating such fatty food. Nvm, I'm going to the gym later haha. And I'll study after that. I really should stop blogging so often and put more time into my studies SIGH. I can't wait for this semester to end! Just six more weeks to go! Alrighty I should start living in the present and stop thinking about the future, and I should start doing my work already.

My favourite picture at the moment:
(My fav cousin Andeline and I)

HAPPY BIRTHDAY JERLIN DEAREST!

Hello childhood friend of mine! Lemme see, we've known each other for about 9 years, which I must say is a pretty long time. Haha we've been through quite a lot together huh? Well, thank you for being there for me always. And for taking care of me. And for always making me laugh. Haha I miss those times we would meet up for prata at the middle of the night. And how you would often drop by my place to give me something. Thank you for being such a wonderful friend, Jerlin. Even though we're not as close now, but at least we still do talk to each other and keep each other updated yeah? Haha I'll see you soon when I'm back in Singapore alright! Much love, take care!

I already received 100 responses for my survey, thank you so much people! Much loves, xoxo.

I want you to come to me when you're feeling down.
Knowing I can count on you during hard times.
We will find a way but it won't come easy.
When the yearning fades away, do we wanna stay?

justjesslyn @ 2007-04-23T18:33:00

2007-04-24T01:37:17Z

To ALL my friends in SINGAPORE:

Please sacrifice 5 minutes of your precious time to complete this survey for me.
There are only 10 simple multiple-choice questions to answer.
I need it badly for my Business project, and I need it by this weekend.
If possible, please forward it to as many people as possible.
I need a minimum of 100 responses for this survey.
Thank you very much. I appreciate your help.

http://www.surveymonkey.com/s.asp?u=844413743743

Thank you so much!
Here's a kiss for you sweeties:

(HAHAHAHA)

people change, but our love never will

2007-04-23T23:19:25Z

THANK YOU EVERYONE FOR PARTICIPATING IN THE SURVEY :)
And a special big thank you Abigail, Clifton, Fredrick for publicizing my survey on their individual blogs!

I finally found out who I can talk to and share my problems with, and who can't. I finally found out who can keep their mouth shut when I tell them something, and who can't. I finally found out who truly care, and who don't. Seriously, there's not many people you can trust out there. Because they don't truly care for you. They just want to know what's going on in your life. They just want to gossip. It's so frustrating to be living in this world along with my own species, and I've got to admit that my species (aka human beings) really suck. We really should stop killing animals and Mother Earth because they are innocent, instead we should all just kill ourselves for being such asses.

I used to love Gucci, but now I love Chanel even more.
I used to love Lexus, but now I love Audi even more.
I used to love Nokia, but now I love SonyE even more.
I used to love orange, but now I love green even more.

I used to love Seng Chye, but now I love him even more.
I'm more in love with him than I have ever been in my life. Baby I know that my love for you will never ever stop growing. Thank you for showing me what love is. You're my strength when I feel weak, and my comfort when I feel down. Baby you're the only one who can fill the emptiness in my heart. Whenever we're apart, I feel that a part of me is missing, and it's then I know that I need you in my life. And I need you because I love you. I know you're the one who will be there for me till the end, that you're the one who will never forsake me, the one who will walk through life with me, the one who will stay with me now and forever. I love you my dearest baby Seng Chye, forever and ever. Even if the whole world turn their backs on you, I will always be there with you and I will never walk away from you :)

How special you are to me, you will never know. You've changed my life - without doing anything, other than being yourself and by loving me - in more ways than you know. Yes, even though we've only walked through one year of our life together, but I can see the future ahead of us. People might say that we're thinking too far ahead, since we have only been together for barely a year. But time is not a big issue at all, isn't it? That's what I realized, because baby I can already see us growing old together. You're the only one I want to spend the rest of my life with, to walk hand-in-hand through the ups and downs of our lives together, to laugh and cry together, to teach me more about life.

Long distance relationship is difficult, with the distance and time difference and the missing presence. With the freedom and loneliness, people might stray but I promise you that I won't. Because you're the only one I see baby, and because my heart is back there with you. I believe that this is a good test for our love. And I have faith in us, that we will make through the greatest obstacle we could ever imagine, that we will get through whatever is coming ahead of us. that we will make it through. People might not have believe in us, but one day, I know that they will. We have nothing to prove to anyone, we just have to prove it to ourselves if our love is really as strong as it seems to be. I love you, Baby.

And I will take you in my arms
And hold you right where you belong
Till the day my life is through
This I promise you, this I promise you

let me escape

2007-04-23T05:38:04Z

My Baby Darling Boyfriend Lim Seng Chye:
You're the reason I believe in love
And you're the answer to my prayers from up above
All we need is just the two of us
My dreams came true because of you

I don't know why but I suddenly feel a strong surge of love for Chung Cheng. I can safely say that it is one place where I truly felt that I belong. I know I belong to the Chung Cheng family, and I love them so much. I miss walking around the school, feeling proud that my school is so beautiful, that the people are so wonderful, and I felt that it is MY school MY home. But I don't feel the same about Santa Monica College. I don't feel like I'm at home when I'm in school. I dread going to school.

Remember the times when we would collect empty cans in order to compete in the World's longest can chain? I am so proud of Chung Cheng, for accomplishing such great achievements. Collecting the hundreds of thousands of cans wasn't easy, and the arranging of the cans is needless to say. But the end result was so gorgeous, I believe everyone thinks it's worth the hard work. We love you, Chung Cheng High School Main! And thank you Mr Soon for the board - which writes "SLOW, your child studies here" - you made in order to ensure all the students' safety in school.

I miss my darling family so much. I couldn't ask for a better family, I love them more than words can say :)

My daily entertainment: (Well, sometimes I take retarded photos like the one on the right to make Baby smile)

Yes baby, I will do anything to make you happy. And that's how much I love you, my dearest boyfriend.
Time passes so quickly, and i can't believe that it has been one year since everything happened. Things have been a really crazy roller coaster ride for the both of us, and even though it wasn't easy, we made it through together. I'm glad that I never gave up on you, and thank you for being there for me when i was down in the dumps last year. I never expected that our story would begin, but I'm thankful that it did. The greatest thing that ever happened to me was you loving me back.

Love: It's when I'm willing to give up my last piece of chocolate for you.
Is love about sacrificing? Is love about the happiness and the joy and the good times together? What exactly is love? Does love really last forever? Or do love fade away as time passes? How do you know who is the one you're going to spend the rest of your life with? Would you do anything for the one you love? Would you risk your life and your happiness for that special someone? Is it possible to love two person at the same time? Would you do anything that you know will hurt the person you love? Or would you protect that someone from all the pain and hurt in this world? Love: Is it just a silly illusion? Is it just something people want to believe in? Does love actually exist?

I wish I can find a place where I belong. I wish I can find someone like Melinda over here. I wish I can go back to Singapore. Who can I confide in? Who confides in me? I don't feel like I belong, it's as though I'm watching everyone from outside the circle. I just want to quickly complete my Bachelor's, and go back to Singapore, where all my friends is, where I truly belong. But I'm trapped over here. Trapped in a place thousands of miles away from a place I call home. If only I could go back right now. If only Singapore and LA isn't so far apart. If only I made the decision to continue my studies in Singapore. I can't find the happiness I feel when I was in Singapore, with my family and friends and darling boyfriend. Now I know how it feels when you don't feel like you belong, and the feeling sucks. The feeling sucks so bad, and I hate it so much.

~~Just take me away from here.~~